Introducing Wilson Nicholl:

The man Behind the Characters

Wilson Nicholl was born with a banana skin sense of humour and has always been highly amused by comedic farce. Following his retirement from the world of business our author decided to give full rein to his sense of fun and frolic that had been held in check by the professional demands of commerce, for the whole of his executive life. This strange flowering of literary talent was a sort of lammas flush (potentially dangerous at his time of life), but it goes to prove that he and his fellow Grey Generation members who’ve dodged the bullet of the CV19 pandemic still have a switched-on sense of humour.

His literary comedy heroes are the great PG Wodehouse, SJ Perelman of Marx Brothers fame and of course the savage fun and developed farce of more modern-day humourists such as Tom Sharpe. His oeuvre to date exemplifies his love of riffing on situations in which his absurd characters find themselves, exaggerating them wildly to satisfy his great sense of the ridiculous and the joy to be had playing around with the English language.  These books are laugh-out-loud fun because as he points out to anyone who’ll listen, they were written for his amusement and he was laughing when he wrote them.

Wilson has for the whole of his life been politically, racially, religiously and gender non-aligned, he’s a genuine democratic libertarian who believes like his grandfather that ‘every human being has an inalienable right to find his or her own way to heaven or hell whether that be religious or secular.’ So don’t look for deep meaning or intellectual insight from reading one of his books. Understand, these novels are farcical fiction and are not written to be taken seriously or to offend, so relax and enjoy, lighten-up a little and don’t even think about trying to get the ‘taste’ police involved. 

Our author all his life has urged those he met to occasionally take time-out to smell the roses, and he’s consistently given unsolicited advice to young persons about politics and politicians, ‘I say put all politicians on the minimum wage and then watch how fast things change!’

Wilson supports a number of charities and makes sure that profits from these novels go to help the less well-off. He sees his books as adding to the still thankfully cutting-edge wit of his Grey Generation and as being life-affirming to those who have lived long enough to be contemptuous of anyone with snake-oil solutions to the problems of humanity worldwide. 

He urges you to buy his books, they are written in a good cause and his message is unambiguous, ‘Buy copies of my books today and feel the pain of handing your money over. Do it now, it’ll make you feel better about yourself as profits go to help others, plus it’ll give you a laugh at the same time. Now that’s a what I call a bargain!’

So what are these books

About then?

Margot McTrusty (Agony Aunt & Private Detective)

At some point in our lives, we’re all guilty of casually glancing through newspaper or magazine Agony Aunt pages and finding perverse entertainment in reading about other people's problems. Even perhaps mentally we store away the ‘expert’ advice, just-in-case we need to call on it in the future. Our resident agony aunt Margot McTrusty is not one to sugar-coat her words as she wades through her bulging postbag, dictating those column inches for her local twice weekly newspaper, the Ethandun Bugler.

Aunt Margot’s brutally frank no-nonsense advice, can often read like a personal dressing down. In her defence she maintains her somewhat brusque style is a direct result of her correspondent’s desire to both provoke and annoy her. Providing they’re not on the receiving end of the tongue lashing, her readership regard her replies as hilarious, they're only rarely taken seriously.

Don’t feed the Seagulls!

We British do love our seaside. It has a special place in all our hearts and childhood memories of buckets and spades, bright striped canvas wind-breakers, collapsing deck chairs, Punch & Judy shows, candy floss, knickerbocker glory ice creams, crazy golf, the lido and the feel of sand between your toes. But if you go down to the beach today in our mythical Essex coastal town of Charlmont-on-Sea, you’re in for a big surprise!

This upmarket art deco seaside enclave and its snobby residents are the vociferous custodians of the last operational traffic podium in England, but they are blissfully unaware that there is high level skulduggery taking place in their civic nerve centre, the Mayor’s Parlour. Their deliciously slippery ‘Citizen Mayor’ known as KYJ and his sexually frantic paramour, end-of-pier palmist/clairvoyant Madam Palm are illegally trafficking farm workers from far-flung parts of the world.

The Ballad of Abbot 'Waxy' McGloin (Deceased)

Things are never quite what they seem from the imaginative pen of our furious farceur as he segues with us from one knockabout situation to another. This time we’re off to disturb the rural idyll of Cornwall’s beautiful Roseland Peninsular for one unforgettable weekend. The combustible mix of a Dominican abbot with dirty habits, a roistering retired British Army major, a local Quango and a bunch of trainee wimpish Survivalists see to it that things will never quite be the same again.

Abbot ‘Waxy’ McGloin with his ungodly seminarian activities is certainly someone best avoided as he hypocritically probes the goings on, in the parish of St Hyacinths. The incumbent Father Lubbock enjoys what can only be termed as a concubinage arrangement with his Church House housekeeper Mrs. Diana Creyke. She’s a ‘widow’ who lives-in with her lovely twin daughters. She also does locally to make ends meet, while her teenage girls run a telephone sex-chat line paid for by an unsuspecting Vatican.

Blanche Vs Finnbarre

Blanche Knight-Wankley is a minor psychotic quasi-religious mother-in-law, she is intent on performing a ‘castrato’ procedure on Finnbarre her priapically over-endowed son-in-law. By a quirk of the roulette wheel of life he finds himself promoted to the rank of Funeral Director and is subsequently elected as Town Crier of the sexiest village in ‘Ye Merry Olde England’.

As a consequence of a forced marriage our errant hero Finn (full name Finnbarre Abraham O’Keeffei) is soon struggling with the perplexities of importing a dead body from France in a broken-down booze laden Transit van and the subsequent difficulty of keeping control of a pair of rampant funeral stallions. Their rude agricultural ‘handbrake’ charm goes viral on the internet and his newly acquired Victorian Horse-Drawn Hearse business takes off.